butterfly430

hey all,
           not much has changed except i'm unemployeed, and things keep popping up from my past so i'm seeing a therapist to try and help he doesn't think i need any pills at this moment.
 
i'm going to post a poem i wrote please don't freak out. just please tell me what you think of it.

The side I try so badly to hide

 

My wrist are tingling again

They keep taunting me

Telling me to cut CUT CUT!!!

It’s so hard to say no

 

If only you could hold my hand

Maybe I can drown the words out

Hear them slightly less

 

Their screaming now

Keep getting louder and louder

Why won’t you let me give in?

Why can’t you just let my blood shed?

 

You wouldn’t have to worry anymore

I’m just a fucking bore

Someone you can learn to ignore

I don’t want your help

 

I don’t deserve it

Who am I kidding you don’t give a shit

Here today, gone tomorrow right?

What goes through your head when I say good night?

After telling you this do you think just maybe

You can be there for me?

 

Long ago you told me

I’m everything you need me to be

What about now?

Am I still the girl you once knew?

 

Or have I become

The girl you’ve always feared I would be?

Tainted by my past

Do you really think I’ll last?

 

That this will be over tomorrow?

Ha you're funny if you do

These thoughts constantly consume me

Just waiting for a day

When I say well okay

 

Then what would you think?

I wouldn’t care anymore 

What you thought

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY I'M SUCH AND IDIOT WHAT KIND OF FRIEND FORGETS ALL HER FRIENDS BIRTHDAYS. HELL I EVEN THINK I'D FORGET MINE IF AIKO DIDN'T KEEP REMINDING ME. DAD'S A LOST CAUSE THOUGH LIKE HE GIVES A SHIT ANYWAY. GOD I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE AND MORE.

 

wordsinacage!! I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE I'LL EVEN PROBABLY GIVE YOU A CALL TONIGHT TO APOLOGIZE A HUNDRED MORE TIMES!!! SORRY PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!!!

   not much going on over here just being as bored as possible. honestly i'm looking foward to going to work tomorrow just to get out of the house. i hate being stuck here with my mom and little bro. i mean don't get me wrong i love them to death its just sometimes to much of a good thing is a bad thing. you understand don't you? lol i guess so. i think i'm going to get on live journal more now that we will have high speed internet installed tomorrow and we will be able to hook it up to my laptop as well. mom wants me to go back to college but i'm not sure i want to. i think it would be cool to take some writing courses but i don't really feel like that is my life calling at this time. but that's the thing i'm not sure what my life calling is. half the time i'm not sure what i want to happen in the future and with this eye bullshit i just feel like if i wasn't a human i would have been 'put down' a long time ago. which makes me wonder. why do humans see animals as lower beings? why are humans higher on the totem pole then almost all other things. do we think we are better or is it just that we refuse to see the light. i mean come on i see the light and i could go blind at any moment. i honestly think ppl should every once in a while think of themselves as their pets. i guess that's why like i am. i don't feel like i'm better then almost everything. do you? leave me a comment if you agree or disagree. i promise not to get angry or anything i just want to know if i'm the only one thinking like this.

well i guess i'll go now
l8ter all
Butterfly430 

Hey all,
    well i guess me and wordsinacage,not much has gone i'm seriously considering quitting my job i just done't like it any  more. oh and i've turned into a total bitch lately. i don't understand it. it might be because i've become more confident about my self and my looks. i've actually went off and my lil bro becasue he was sitting in my seat. but i guess that's all. if you think i'm a bitch please comment 1 for yes or 2 for no.thanks